Independence

When Josh was growing up he played soccer, baseball, basketball, flag football, and also did Taekwondo and frisbee golf throughout the years. But none of these sports seemed to satisfy his need for excitement with a hint of danger as climbing and skateboarding, and parkour.

To be fair, I wasn’t a fan of organized sports either as a kid. I felt a lot of pressure to perform. Maybe Josh felt that as well, but I think Josh wanted to learn on his own. No matter what it was, he wanted to be given the tools and then figure it out himself through endless practice.

When he got his first skateboard, he spent hours learning tricks, either alone or with his best friend, William. And every free chance they had they spent at the skate park.

Josh also loved climbing. He climbed on every piece of furniture at home when he was a baby; outside he’d be halfway up a tree the second I turned my head.

One day when Josh was 5 years old his dad and I took him to the White Water Center in Charlotte. They offer activities like white water rafting, kayaking, and mountain biking. They also have a climbing wall.

Josh asked us if he could climb the wall so we asked the attendant, who said yes. With giddy excitement, Josh put on the safety helmet and harness and began to climb, slowly and steadily, without any hesitation. Seeing him climb the nearly 50 foot wall made me a bit nervous, but Josh never looked back - until he made it to the top. He then turned back and sang, “Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can!” as he dangled from the harness, then he pushed off the wall and returned safely to the ground.

From that time we went to climbing gyms and skate parks. Josh loved the thrill of scaling walls of different heights and complexity. Each one presented a unique challenge that motivated and held his attention, which was no small feat for a kid with ADHD. I had to help him find activities that suited his personality and held his interest.

Sometimes as I review Josh’s life, which I do almost daily, I wonder if maybe I should have pushed him to do more traditional sports or pushed him in some other direction later on in life. It’s difficult to not question and second guess every decision I ever made, but when I think about how happy he was and how he thrived when he did things he truly loved when he was given choices, it puts my mind at ease a bit.

I loved everything about my child - his quirkiness, his need for excitement and challenges, his creativity, and most of all the independent spirit that I could never squelch.